Being on the other side

What if? Just what if one morning you wake up and the person you love the most is gone? Do you wonder where the person might be or if the person is alright? Well let me tell you something when losing someone dear to you is always hard emotionally and physically. Late last year I lost someone she was a magnificent being, she was incredible beyond imagination really no words are great enough to describe her. My grandmother was my hero, well not only mine but my family also. She gave all of us life, a life that till now is full of joy. Months and days has passed since her passing but still it doesn't fell complete. Every single time when I set foot in her home the first thing I do is go to her room to call her but all of a sudden its empty and I just sit on her bed wondering where is she right now? Does she know I miss her?

In times not only me but most of family feel the same we have our daily routines of calling her if we're far apart and tell her about our day or our week or just simply go to her home if we're staying near to her. Now everything is different when we pick the phone and start dialing or go in the car and start the ignition we noticed that she's not there anymore and we ask our ourselves what next? What are we going to do? Sometimes we sit down quietly wondering if I talked to her would she be listening? Is she right next to me? Well for me whenever I'm having a bad day I would talk to her openly I don't care what people might think of me I miss her she's my grandma to hell with those who want to make fun of me. In my heart I know she's right next to me sitting next to me listening and wiping the tears away. I can hear her saying " It's no use crying over spilled milk and that everything will heal in time" or when my mum shouts at me asking me to drink some water my grandma would be like " there shouting at her again asking her to drink water" or when I fight with my boyfriend and get upset about it she would say " your still young there's so much out there for you to see still" I miss her voice.

But now, I really wonder if  talking to her right now what is she saying? How is she reacting? How I wish I could just see her one last time. Every single week I would change my nail polish just like she did. Looking at her nail polish collection how much I missed painting her nails for her. How much I missed going out to buy them for her. When I'm at home sitting on my bed I still remember her coming to stay with me in Seremban how much she went out. We went shopping for home decorations, we went to Johor to drink coffee and how she liked the little girl that work there that she suggested that my brother should marry her. When she woke up in the middle of the night having chest pains and I would wake up to keep her company till she went back to sleep .She was special and she still is special to all of us. She's a trophy in all our hearts. Nothing would ever change that. I hope she's okay on the other side. She's with grandpa and gigi so she is okay but somehow I cant help but imagine she and grandpa are arguing and grandpa would just turn off his hearing aid. I really do miss them but when its time its time. Grandma we love you and we miss you but don't worry we kept to our promise and we're all happy and still in one pieces and will still continue being like this.