See See I TOLD YOU SO!

I said someone would die and just look I believe the government is that vulgar like WHAT THE HELL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHhfdlvzYMw

Good Bye

A dream it feels like,

Something I think it might,

It was nice feeling it,

Your hands wondering around bit by bit,

Those lips on mine,

It sends shivers down my spine,

Oh how I miss those times,

I feel like I'm standing on a mine,

I don't want to say good bye,

But I still I have to try,

Tears start to well up in my eyes,

So I guess we'll just leave it at GOOD BYE.

GLEE ^ ^

Okay so glee is in its third season and honestly its always such and inspiration to watch it. The series inspired me in many ways but not that much till recently. As you know I'm only 18 and I got my SPM results last month it was not bad but it had its cons also. The most recent episode was on how Mercedes, Santana and Finn was struggling to find out what they wanted for their future. Well honestly its scary because once you set your mind to it you cant really change it anymore. You can but you'll waste years of studying what you actually didnt want.

These people are my idols. They're inspirational, they are the ones that tell us it's ok if we're not perfect because its the imperfections that makes us special. Mercedes and Santana are my favourite characters I mean the self esteem and confidence that they have is like WOW. It really makes me feel like I'm something special when I'm not and suddenly I'm just proud of how I am today and whatever people want to say about me go ahead as long as I believe in myself I'll be fine.

It's all About Bersih 3.0 today...

I'm not really into to politics but I got to say the Bersih 3.0 thingy is kinda something good. Seriously the gorvernment is just being so unfair in like so many ways. At times I find them foolish but whatever it is I hope no one gets killed or anything. Here's a motto of it.

Nice eh?

Crowds are growing everywhere around the world from Hong Kong to Australia. This is how bad the government has deteriorated, and Digi even supports it.

Okay that picture is just funny. Whatever Ambiga is doing is right I mean elections need to be done in a rational and peaceful way. Honestly it means no harm is the government that makes it such a big deal like seriously we have a life and we don't intend to destroy the lives of others.

Sighs hopefully everything will be fine.

Blood, Sweat and Tears?

Okay so it doesn't really take blood or tears to finish a job but maybe a little sweat. So, I've started working at a pet shop for about a week now. It seems okay normal routine daily my only off day is on Saturday. You know adults say " When you start working you wish that you can go back to school." Trust me people it's true I really do wish I was back in school . It's like even though you just sit there and do nothing when you go home it like you just got your life energy sucked out of you. Even if you sleep for a solid eight hours it's still not enough. The sad thing about going to work is like you noticed something and you say to yourself "I'm growing up there's no more turning back now. No more secondary school, no more school uniform, no more extra large school bags that weighs like a ton. There still is college or university but I think that right now is the right time to jump to every opportunity and to gain every experiences to explore the world if possible because if we start college and everything our lives get set into a place. It's like after college it's a job interview, after a job interview is a real job. You'll barely have time to do anything then because your so dedicated to your job. 

So, back to the topic ( typical me always going out of the topic ) working is easy as long as you have a plan. to finish an assignment is easy as long as you have the determination and your mind set to it then it wont be a problem. For it to really take Blood, Sweat and Tears well then you must really have a hard life. Or maybe your just to stress take some time off to indulge yourself to whatever may please you. At first working might seem to be that easy maybe your first day at work may be a little out. But after a few days you'll get the hang of it and everything will be smooth sailing. Stick to what you know and stick to what is right and you wont get lost.

Look at me talking making as if I know everything about working. Well I did work for a week already. Okay Okay maybe it's not that much of experience yet but at least I'm doing something and not just sitting at home doing god knows what. Working is going to be something real different but nothing beats your first pay check. 

Being on the other side

What if? Just what if one morning you wake up and the person you love the most is gone? Do you wonder where the person might be or if the person is alright? Well let me tell you something when losing someone dear to you is always hard emotionally and physically. Late last year I lost someone she was a magnificent being, she was incredible beyond imagination really no words are great enough to describe her. My grandmother was my hero, well not only mine but my family also. She gave all of us life, a life that till now is full of joy. Months and days has passed since her passing but still it doesn't fell complete. Every single time when I set foot in her home the first thing I do is go to her room to call her but all of a sudden its empty and I just sit on her bed wondering where is she right now? Does she know I miss her?

In times not only me but most of family feel the same we have our daily routines of calling her if we're far apart and tell her about our day or our week or just simply go to her home if we're staying near to her. Now everything is different when we pick the phone and start dialing or go in the car and start the ignition we noticed that she's not there anymore and we ask our ourselves what next? What are we going to do? Sometimes we sit down quietly wondering if I talked to her would she be listening? Is she right next to me? Well for me whenever I'm having a bad day I would talk to her openly I don't care what people might think of me I miss her she's my grandma to hell with those who want to make fun of me. In my heart I know she's right next to me sitting next to me listening and wiping the tears away. I can hear her saying " It's no use crying over spilled milk and that everything will heal in time" or when my mum shouts at me asking me to drink some water my grandma would be like " there shouting at her again asking her to drink water" or when I fight with my boyfriend and get upset about it she would say " your still young there's so much out there for you to see still" I miss her voice.

But now, I really wonder if  talking to her right now what is she saying? How is she reacting? How I wish I could just see her one last time. Every single week I would change my nail polish just like she did. Looking at her nail polish collection how much I missed painting her nails for her. How much I missed going out to buy them for her. When I'm at home sitting on my bed I still remember her coming to stay with me in Seremban how much she went out. We went shopping for home decorations, we went to Johor to drink coffee and how she liked the little girl that work there that she suggested that my brother should marry her. When she woke up in the middle of the night having chest pains and I would wake up to keep her company till she went back to sleep .She was special and she still is special to all of us. She's a trophy in all our hearts. Nothing would ever change that. I hope she's okay on the other side. She's with grandpa and gigi so she is okay but somehow I cant help but imagine she and grandpa are arguing and grandpa would just turn off his hearing aid. I really do miss them but when its time its time. Grandma we love you and we miss you but don't worry we kept to our promise and we're all happy and still in one pieces and will still continue being like this.

Candle Light

That night the wind was blowing really strong. Everyone was tucked into bed fast asleep. Unfortunately in one of the allies a little girl was there shivering. She had no shelter or enough clothes to keep her warm away from the cold. Lena was only 10, she ran away from the orphanage to look for her parents. Till today there was still no hope at all. The only closest memory she has left of her parents is her grandmamma whom had taken care of her till she was 7 and she passed away. All she had left was candles that her grandmamma left her, to her they were magical candles. Once they were lighted unimaginable things happen.

In her mind she was telling herself be strong don’t give up hope don’t give into the cold. It was so dark and the cold started to get colder and colder she couldn’t take it anymore. She had only 5 candles left she had to light up one of them so she would feel warm. When she did the whole alley was lighted up she could see a rainbow starting to appear. Butterflies flying around, flowers blooming and she felt so warm filled joy seeing such beauty. The light couldn’t last for long and went out after a few minutes. Then she felt cold again the wind was getting stronger. She picked the coat that she had and put it around her but still it felt really cold.

She couldn’t help but light another candle but this time something unimaginable really did happen. She saw her grandmamma in the flames and she just couldn’t believe her own eyes. And her grandmamma said “Its ok sweetie. It’s just me everything will be ok I promise”. Lena couldn’t stop blinking her eyes she reached out to touch her grandmamma.

“Grandmamma is that really you?” Lena said as tears started to fill her eyes.

“Yes baby its me.” Her grandmamma said smiling

The light was going off she started to light another hoping that her grandmamma wont disappear. She hurried and her grandmamma was still there the image was getting clearer. Lena said “Grandmamma please don’t leave me again”. “It’s okay Lena. I wont leave I’m going to be just right here.” 

Her eyelids were starting to feel heavy but she didn’t want to close her eyes. She was afraid when she did her grandmamma would disappear.

Then, she lighted more candles because she knew it was because of the cold she was falling asleep. When the last candle was lighted everything was just so bright she could see a tree up ahead with a swing right beneath it. Her grandmamma was calling out to her “Come on Lena. Let’s go everyone is waiting for us. We don’t want to be late.”

“But where are we going Grandmamma? What are we late for?”

“Just follow me Lena. You’ll like it come on.” Her grandmamma reached out for her.

“Give me your hand. You don’t have to suffer anymore. I promise you I will never let go of you again”

“Okay Grandmamma okay.” She took her Grandmamma hand and everything changed she didn’t feel cold anymore. She felt hope she felt so lively. She ran towards the swing with her Grandmamma and sat there swinging. As the wind was rustling through her hair she was at peace.

When dawn set in a man was walking by the alley and he saw a body of a little girl and said “Poor thing she was trying to keep warm with all those candles”. He bent down to check for a pulse but there was nothing “Dear God and it’s the eve of Christmas. She should be given a proper burial.” After that the man called for help and gave Lena the burial she deserved. The most important thing was that she didn’t have to suffer anymore. She was away for hunger, away from pain and away from cold. She was now with her grandmamma in someplace better and happy.