Candle Light

That night the wind was blowing really strong. Everyone was tucked into bed fast asleep. Unfortunately in one of the allies a little girl was there shivering. She had no shelter or enough clothes to keep her warm away from the cold. Lena was only 10, she ran away from the orphanage to look for her parents. Till today there was still no hope at all. The only closest memory she has left of her parents is her grandmamma whom had taken care of her till she was 7 and she passed away. All she had left was candles that her grandmamma left her, to her they were magical candles. Once they were lighted unimaginable things happen.

In her mind she was telling herself be strong don’t give up hope don’t give into the cold. It was so dark and the cold started to get colder and colder she couldn’t take it anymore. She had only 5 candles left she had to light up one of them so she would feel warm. When she did the whole alley was lighted up she could see a rainbow starting to appear. Butterflies flying around, flowers blooming and she felt so warm filled joy seeing such beauty. The light couldn’t last for long and went out after a few minutes. Then she felt cold again the wind was getting stronger. She picked the coat that she had and put it around her but still it felt really cold.

She couldn’t help but light another candle but this time something unimaginable really did happen. She saw her grandmamma in the flames and she just couldn’t believe her own eyes. And her grandmamma said “Its ok sweetie. It’s just me everything will be ok I promise”. Lena couldn’t stop blinking her eyes she reached out to touch her grandmamma.

“Grandmamma is that really you?” Lena said as tears started to fill her eyes.

“Yes baby its me.” Her grandmamma said smiling

The light was going off she started to light another hoping that her grandmamma wont disappear. She hurried and her grandmamma was still there the image was getting clearer. Lena said “Grandmamma please don’t leave me again”. “It’s okay Lena. I wont leave I’m going to be just right here.” 

Her eyelids were starting to feel heavy but she didn’t want to close her eyes. She was afraid when she did her grandmamma would disappear.

Then, she lighted more candles because she knew it was because of the cold she was falling asleep. When the last candle was lighted everything was just so bright she could see a tree up ahead with a swing right beneath it. Her grandmamma was calling out to her “Come on Lena. Let’s go everyone is waiting for us. We don’t want to be late.”

“But where are we going Grandmamma? What are we late for?”

“Just follow me Lena. You’ll like it come on.” Her grandmamma reached out for her.

“Give me your hand. You don’t have to suffer anymore. I promise you I will never let go of you again”

“Okay Grandmamma okay.” She took her Grandmamma hand and everything changed she didn’t feel cold anymore. She felt hope she felt so lively. She ran towards the swing with her Grandmamma and sat there swinging. As the wind was rustling through her hair she was at peace.

When dawn set in a man was walking by the alley and he saw a body of a little girl and said “Poor thing she was trying to keep warm with all those candles”. He bent down to check for a pulse but there was nothing “Dear God and it’s the eve of Christmas. She should be given a proper burial.” After that the man called for help and gave Lena the burial she deserved. The most important thing was that she didn’t have to suffer anymore. She was away for hunger, away from pain and away from cold. She was now with her grandmamma in someplace better and happy.

Confession of a teenage heart

When a heart tells us we really like someone, we wont stop thinking about it. Love is always strong sometimes its like a magnetic force longing to stick together for as long as it can hold. To tell a person that you like them is never easy maybe on a text or e-mail or letter seems like a good way to start. Face to face its different you get to see all types of emotion the only fear we have is rejection.

A heart  can only bare so little but willing to go the distance. We'll do whatever it takes to not let the truth come out but somehow we cant restrain ourselves. When the truth does comes out we feel scared, nervous or we'll be freaking out every single time we see the person. Under all that we feel relief in some way because its all out in the open. 

Adults say teenager's know nothing about love but who does? Mostly for teenagers its called puppy love, we cant predict whats going to happen in the future so we only enjoy the present. Being in love can be like magic because every single time we see that person we feel like there is butterflies flying in our stomach. seeing the smiles in there eyes really makes you feel like melting. Maybe its to soon to fall in love but its time to create mistakes and from those mistakes we can learn to be better. The hell with the future it is coming nearer and nearer but while waiting for it we should just enjoy.

Dumper or Dumpee

Okay here it is, in life everyone is given an opportunity to do whatever they please. From being happy, to moving on and many other examples but there’s this little thing that I choose to talk about today. It’s not exactly that little but this whole month there’s a lot of it that has been going around and that is either being the dumper or the dumpee. I’m sure no one likes to be the dumpee they rather be the dumper.

What I can say is that being the dumper may sound like it’s an easy job. Honestly to tell you the truth it’s not, well for me it’s not because when I’m the dumper my friends will go like….

Why did you even dump him? He’s such a sweet guy.

Or

Why did you even started a relationship with him when you know it’s not going to last long?

Or

Didn’t I tell you not to break his heart? He’s the only guy that I know that treats his girlfriends well.

And many many more trust me when it continues longer it’s irritating. Okay to break the news to you people have their own reasons to why they end the relationship. Some reasons are good some are bad. The good thing is that maybe they just didn’t suit each other so it didn’t last long and they end it earlier then endure it till god knows when. The bad thing is that you leave them for someone else such hypocrisy I might say. By being the dumper somehow its like were responsible for what happens to our ex’s and trust when you think you got everything under control that’s the time when they do unexpected things. So always be aware of what’s going on or not your going to be in deep shit.

As for being the dumpee GOD! That’s hard and whoever is going through that now honestly I know how you feel. For dumper’s they never felt what it’s like to be dumped and when they do they’ll realize how much it actually hurts. When they do it’s too late to even say sorry. Maybe being in a relationship that doesn’t have much connection makes it easy to just go our separate ways but just imagine those who have chemistry at the first sight. The most disappointing thing is when we know we have chemistry with that person but do they know there’s chemistry? We always need two hands to clap not one. Just when we thought that everything is just so great we get dumped and the world just tumbles.

To you the world seems like its crumbling and everyone around you will be like….

Are you ok? What happened?

Or

Why aren’t you telling me anything? I’m your best friend.

Or

Stop crying! You look like a freaking maniac.

Trust me that happens, well besides that being the dumpee was never easy and sometimes we just need time to absorb everything and for some it’s not easy especially our first loves. I use to talk to my mother about all of this after my first love and she told me the scariest thing of all which is that you will never forget your first love. At first I was afraid I didn’t understand it but as time passed I understood everything. Well to me maybe it’s because that is the first time we ever felt love and it made us feel special in everyway. We felt needed, loved, cared for and everything else in the world didn’t seem to matter. When the relationship ends it’s like we feel useless and not safe at all.

For some we need time to let things mend and we’d rather keep it to ourselves first then to let everyone know because the more you tell the more questions your going to have to answer. At that time it’s never a great solution because it’ll only hurts us more.

Life is said to be never easy that we have to go through all types of obstacles but it only makes us learn more. About the dumpee and dumper well if you’re the dumper do what you think is right for both sides and not be selfish about the decision. Do it for the greater good of both parties and don’t care about what people might say because they’re not in your shoes. For the dumpee’s well I know everything seems uneasy and impossible well its not all you need is time and nothing is impossible if you have the determination to try. Life is always the greatest gift that God has given to us and why should we waste it enjoy it. Have fun so what if they’re obstacles we can overcome anything if we just put our mind to it.

To the one’s who are in a relationship just enjoy the present don’t think about the past or the future. Just enjoy being in each other’s arms. Be sincere to yourself to your heart and everything will be just as magical. Well I’m afraid that’s all for now. See you later peeps.

Back to blogging

Well it feels like its been a year since I last wrote but it s only been a month I guess. Been busy studying because trials was gonna start soon. I can tell you that it definitely was like going through labor not that I experienced it before or what so ever but it has hard especially add math. My god it was like drilling my brains out. I'm planning to ace my English, Math and Science paper though hope I did well.

Apart from all that everything has been just okay. Didn't really go out during the Raya holidays stayed at home mostly. But I still had a last paper after the holidays which is accounts but I didn't really study. Instead i started reading story books again because of my mother telling how me good they were and they were too irresistible to resist. So I read about five books in less than a week and by Saturday I started studying again.

The paper was just okay. Been dying to write had a lot of ideas but whenever I forget to write them down I seem to forget all about it. I've been writing a lot of poems lately but I never did posted any maybe these few days I'll post them up. Anyways I got to go. Take care peeps.

The world????

What's happening around the world? Everything is just crumpled. We can barely find peace anywhere. Wars going on in other states or country's. People suffering from poverty. Children in Africa dies everyday because they suffer from hunger. Other's are suffering from natural disasters,  abuse, and many more. The earth is also suffering from green house effects and thinning of the ozone layer and illegal logging and all the pollution man kind has created.

The world is turning upside down especially the people. In this video it show the vulnerability of each person and what made them that way. Mostly its how people look down on them. Honestly I'm not going to say I haven't done it because I have and it was not right and I'm going to change myself. 

To every person out there that feels unappreciated, lonely, small or what so ever. Your not alone many others feel that way even I myself feel insecure sometimes. But there's something about life. Life is never an easy road to take but all of us are only given a chance with it. So the hell with it just enjoy life and whatever mistakes we've made there is no point crying over spilled milk just learn from it.

Girls I know sometimes when you into the mirror you ask yourself who am I. And maybe you think why am I fat or why cant I be pretty or why cant I look like her. In this world no one is ever perfect and those imperfections is what makes all of us special in our own way. And if you like a guy and he wants you to change yourself for him ask him to go to hell. There many fishes in the sea and if the guy likes you he would accept you for who you are. And who you are is someone special that no other person or girl can replace.

Guy's sorry to say this but your just as emotional as girls. You can act as macho as you want but deep down you guys are softer than marshmallow. Guy's you all tend to tune out your feelings all the time and you never want to talk bout it but one day when it reaches the limit its going to explode and you'll feel worst. But you yourselves think that your not worthy for anything after what you have done but the truth is when you feel not worthy of anything its when your worthy of something. 

Everyone has their own talent their own specialty and that makes each an everyone extraordinary but to achieve something that big is to believe. Nothing is impossible if you don't try you don't know. To be good at something is to do it all over and over again. When we learn from our mistakes it's when we grow up to be something. There is never a right time for anything so we have to jump for every opportunity before its to late. Life is something magnificient so we should enjoy what we have and never regret a day that passes by because there will always be a tomorrow.

Bust your windows

When I heard this song it's was exactly what I felt like doing. And I would after all those lies I had enough of your crap...

I guess its time

Well its been almost two months since I last wrote I've been busy with school with events and exams. It's been a really long two months a lot has happened but I picked myself up and its time to move on. And I'm gonna start with my studies and I'm going to achieve for everything I've dream't about....

Lighted for you

These candles are lighted for you my handsome boy. Everything will be ok I promise because I know it will be I will be praying for you and I will keep doing that till you get better. You will see me soon I promise. All of us love you and we wont let anything happen to you.

Poetry

Well most of my favorites are from William Shakespeare's work. Here are some quotes which really touched me and mean something.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date . . . .

"Sonnet 18," 1–4

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.

Romeo And Juliet Prologue, 1–8

Why! all delights are vain, but that most vain
Which, with pain purchas'd, doth inherit pain:
As, painfully to pore upon a book
To seek the light of truth, while truth the while
Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look.
Light, seeking light, doth light of light beguile;
So ere you find where light in darkness lies,
Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.

Love's Labor's Lost Act 1. scene 1, 72–79

Honestly I don't know why I like poetry I guess I just see something meaningful in it something worth knowing and something to learn from. The beauty of poetry is that it speaks the soul and it calls out passion. 

Love Letter

Have you ever wonder what it feels like to find a love letter a handwritten love letter taking back to 40 or 50 years wouldn't it be wonderful. Nowadays love letters are sent on a text, an email or maybe even fax, to find a handwritten love letter is really rare. But to read a letter written by someone you love so much it feels so over-whelming to read it, it's like you feel like its written with so much passion and and I just don't know how to put it in words.

When you touch that letter you feel like he wrote that for me these are his writings and it's him. It's like it sends an electric wave through you but the best thing is that you can keep it for as long as you want and in future when you look at it, it reminds you of  why you fell in love the first place. It puts a smile on your face and its a smile not willing to fade. Modern technology has upgraded everything that we don't see how much were really missing on.

If those words of passion are written on a text who knows how long it'll last if your phone breaks down it'll be gone just like that. For me I like to hear stories that my grandmother tells me stories about how it was like when she feel in love, about her first love and her still maybe having photo's of him I find it cute. All of it was real and to hear about then and now everything is just so different. I'm sorry boys but the guy's in the past they sound like gentlemen real gentlemen with so much dedication for a girl.

Is just that when you see anyone talking about their first love you see them blank into space but when they speak its like your there with them they recall every moment of it and to see that sparkle in there eyes is just something so magnificent. I guess what I'm trying to say is that to have something that reminds you of that first time you ever felt love is really wonderful. A love letter is something extraordinary where when you read it you just feel like your back there again and those words really touch you and it's something that you cant even describe with words. 

Well I guess love is love and it's always amazing.

The unexpected

Everyday when we wake up we expect it to be a new day a fresh start. Opening our eyes to something much better in life. Lying down on the bed you feel so happy so excited to start a new day rushing everything and all of a sudden you get that feeling where you just wanna go back to bed and not wake up. You just wonder why do I feel like that where did all of it come from I wasn't even thinking about it why do I always end up this way when I think there's nothing more to worry about.

Doesn't it just kill you to feel that way the whole day like you just wish you could get out of this nightmare but you can't because your right in the middle of it. When will all of it end could it even end?. What can I do to end it? 

In life there is always a part where we feel so happy enjoying ourselves and all of a sudden you look up and there's dark clouds and you know the day ends here. You get so irritated and annoyed that it makes you mad till you cry. God why is it always like that. I've been trying to figure out why is it always that way but I cant seem to find the right answer. Life is suppose to be something magical it still is but somehow can't those dark clouds go away and never come back just leaves us alone everything is already hard enough to bare now this just please leave us alone.

Mirror

I look into a mirror, 

And I see a stranger,

Someone I do not recognize,

Her eyes seem so empty,

Like there's no soul,

Is there anything left for her to hold,

Staring at that stranger,

Breaks my heart,

Seems that she has fallen apart,

Knowing that it is me,

It shatters me,

Touching my face,

Tears start to race,

I wipe the tears away,

Hoping that there will be a new day.

Seeing eye to eye

Have you ever wonder how it feels when you look into the eyes of someone you love. Does it feel weird? Is it awkward? Will there be sparks? How am I going to feel?

If you ask me I don't know how to explain how it feels but it's really an extraordinary feeling. I may or may not have fallen in love before but watching all sorts of love stories proves a lot. Love is something really powerful the whole universe evolves around it don't tell me no one ever feel in love before. I'm sure everyone went through it once.

Looking into those eyes you feel at peace, you feel so safe, you feel like this is it, everything and everyone around just disappears its just you and that someone and those eyes to you it shows the real person the one that you know the one that you believe in is just right in front of you and that question pops into your head. What am I going to do?

Well you know what those kinda eyes are worth looking at for as long as it will last ( hopefully forever ). The future don't even think about it the heck with it you have the present enjoy every moment of it don't let it come to an end. Create amazing memories worth remembering and all of it will just fall into place.

Finally It's Over

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! finally exams are over three long weeks of studying and headache. Finally everything is over... I know I know SPM is not here yet so technically it's not over. But this whole three weeks has been a bore always studying. Study at home, in school, during recess, in between exams, at night before sleeping... my god everywhere I go there's a book in my hand.

Especially the last week is full of hard subject's it's like OMG it's literally drilling my head or even worse feels like I'm in labour.... and again I know I've been pregnant so I wouldn't know the pain but I guess it's something like that.

Teacher: How was the exam?

Student: The question was frustrating.

Teacher: Why? It must be you didn't study or you didn't understand the question.

Student: No it was the other way around the question didn't understand me at all.

BIG SIGH.....

Exams.... Exams.... Exams.....Exams....Exams....

Glad we could take a break for a few days before we have to study again if not I think I need to be admitted into a mental ward. Well that's all I have for today... Ciao peeps....

Pains In Life

Looking at the people around me everything feels so dull. My family, friends,frenemies and strangers. Everything feels so odd so different those smiles just doesn't seem right there is something behind it and its pain. You know sometimes when we have those days where everything is just so dark and all and what we think is that were the only ones that feels that way but truthfully most of us has been through it and we just put on smiles to hide the pain.

Sometimes we feel like we need to talk to somebody but we cant say anything because we don't want that somebody to judge us. So we just keep quiet but what we never know is that the pain inside of us is just eating us making us feel even worse about ourselves like for me I talk to my mum and it helps it feels like getting thousands of blocks of my chest.

I know pain is never and easy thing to deal with trust me I know but life is never easy even though it is it'll only be for a moment to me it's like life has many obstacles and there's more to come maybe whats happening now is just to get us ready for what's really coming. It's ok to cry, scream or shout when you feel like it but doing unimaginable things is never an option it'll only make everything worst. It doesn't make you feel better it makes you feel like crap. 

Hey, like I said life is never easy but be happy that your given a chance to see the world with your own eyes. Enjoy your life while your still here it's never to late..... 

Batu Caves

Since it was the holidays my family and I decided to to take a trip this time it was Batu Caves. It's a really beautiful monument for history to be kept that way its a really lucky thing and for you guys who have not been there your really missing out on something extravagant. Well a lot happened on that day one of it was that my mum fainted didn't know how that happened because she was ok the whole time.... well here are some photo's

its a pond I started taking photo's don't know why just felt excited I guess

this is Murugan its an indian God ( well obviously it is why am i even saying it for )

Imagine climbing up those steps when your afraid of heights I don't it'll be good idea because I did it and my legs were numb but I still manage to climb all the way up

View from the top.... taking that photo was not easy standing near the steps makes me feel like I was going to fall forward

See what I mean

see I told you she was ok

Beautiful right just looking up it takes your breath away..

Family photo at the bottom ( obviously I was taking the picture thats why I'm not in it )

my uncle chasing pigeons

First my mum.....

then me we got henna.....

got one on my back to.... YAY!!!... ( its ugly coz its dried up it pretty once you wash it off )

AFTER THAT

lunch..... lunch.... lunch..... yum................. yum........ mouth watering......

hmm.... which one should I pick... hahahah

mummy always in a rush to finish everything..... haiz

why you taking photo's for mad woman.... coz i want to....

There is still lots of photo's lazy to upload it here so just go to my Facebook and there's more there well anyways I gtg have to study.... Ciao people

What am I suppose to write again???????

WHY DO I FEEL SO BLUR TODAY MY GOD!!! 

I THINK STUDYING FOR MID TERMS HAS KILLED MY BRAIN CELLS

PLEASE LET THE EXAMS FINISH SOONER...

WANTED TO UPDATE MY BLOG BUT I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR EXAM

I'M GOING NUTS!!!!!

HELP ME!!!!

GET RID OF EXAMS!!!!!!

It's been ages

Its been God knows how long since I've seen this movie I still remember when I was in year 5 or 6 when I started watching it I just couldn't stop and no matter how many times I've watched it, it will always get to me   ( to those who haven't watched your seriously missing out on a fantastic love story )

but what can I say most of the novels Nicholas Sparks wrote is breath-taking. This was just so WOW wonder if reality would ever turn out that way. For a guy like Landon carter ( a.k.a Shane West ) to have so much love and care to look after Jamie Sullivan ( a.k.a Mandy Moore ) is just so OMG. He had so much patience and he cared for her so much. Is there any guy out there who is like that.....

Yup I know so loving right if and only we could have that fairy tale.

well fellow readers that's all  I have for today...

CIAO!!!!

Confirmation

Walking down an unfamiliar path going to place that I have never been before. What is on the other side I ask myself. Everything is just so bright. Looking back I can see happiness but all of it are suppose to be memories and it should stay that way. Now's the time to create new one's with a more daring spirit. To reach the unreachable to think the unthinkable to finally achieve something big in life. The most beautiful thing bout it is that God will always be with us through every step we take and the holy spirit to guide us.

In the church yesterday when I walked towards the altar that's how I felt and it's the most greatest feeling ever. After getting slapped from the bishop ( or so what people say ) I felt so happy that I just wanted to shout or scream or jump but I didn't dont worry. Taking my seat I looked at my friend's and I felt so happy that I was about to cry it's like all of us waited so long for this day and it's here right now and to see the smiles on their faces its something magical.

Right now I feel so happy, my heart feels so light not even a tiny bit sadness and I feel glad that I choose this path and i'm never going back on my word and from today I promise to become a better person. A person  that I know I can be.

The sky

It has been awhile since I last posted something maybe almost a month I guess a lot has happened some bad some good but life is just always full of those stuff.

During the weekend my family and I went to Port Dickson and stayed there for a night. The trip there was not that long it only took us about 40 minutes or so but it was so hot. By the time we got to the apartment it was 4 plus we unpacked got settled I for once was helping my grandmother plug in the DVD player * she and her Korean dramas. Then I went into one of the room's was doing some revision for history.

After 7 I started helping my dad fry some mihun then we brought the food down to the beach to have a barbecue. While waiting for the food to get ready my little brother, his friend and I went down to the beach to just walk around enjoy the view. All you could hear was the sound of laughter, loud music playing, barbecue pits sizzling and all of that made me feel at peace its like everyone is just enjoying their lives just the way they're suppose to be.

We went up to the shore for dinner had sausages, chicken, lamb, fish and lots more but still their was a lot of people so we had to share before going for second round we head to the beach again. This time we went crab hunting we had no torchlight so we had to use the flash from my uncle's phone. It was so fun we saw small little fishes, prawns, seaweed, and there was once we saw a mantis prawn tried to catch it but it swam away. we managed to catch some crabs but it was small .

Tired from running around and screaming when fishes swam over my feet or crabs running across them I decided to lie down on the sand to my surprise I didn't even bother if sand got into my hair. Laying down on the sand I looked up and I saw stars all over the sky it was so magical we rarely get to see those kinds of views in the city because of all the light distracting us. I continued looking up trying to find stars like orions belt and much more. Then suddenly I got the feeling like the stars were smiling at me. It made my heart feel so warm and fuzzy. When I looked around it was like today is the happiest day I had these past two months and
I was so happy.......

The truth

What does truth really mean?

What good does it do?

When finding out the truth only hurts us more?

People say honesty is the best policy to everything but really what good does it do when it only hurts others. Some truth's are hard to accept some are normal stuff that happens around us.

But what if it's something we never expect to hear? What if it's something that you know could shatter your heart? What are you gonna do after you hear it? What's the next step?

Why and how could a person make those mistakes and not know why they did it? Does it even take that long to answer that question? Is it that hard to understand that you cant find answers to it?

My friends always told me " EASIER SAID THAN DONE " but this is like "EASIER DONE THAN SAID".

So what now? your gonna bail....

When the truth gets out especially the one's we do not want to hear we get mad we tend to say things without even thinking I'm not saying it is correct to do that but we say things we don't mean when were mad and after saying it we really regret it and most of the things we say are not even true were just frustrated and we say anything that comes in mind.

Either way the truth hurts no matter what but still telling truth is better instead of hearing it from someone else and it would be ten times worst.

What I'm trying to say is whatever truth you intend to let out try to understand the person that's trying to absorb whatever you just told them. It isn't easy to accept the truth but sometimes he have to because we love that person no matter what.

A wish to escape reality

The modern world is so urbanize filled with skyscrapers, industrial factories and with the modern technology things are getting more and more counterfeit.

Deforestation's are happening all over the world for development. Nature is being destroyed right in font of our eyes and yet nothing is being done to uphold the law.

Where would we go to enjoy serenity to just get away from the city to relish Gods own creation.........

The world that surrounds us now has changed that we ourselves don't even notice it. Buildings, factories, shopping complex's are being built. We are enjoying all the accommodations while mother earth is being destroyed day by day.

but don't you just wish all this would stop and maybe one day all of us could abandon our work breath in fresh air that is being provided and now the only place we can enjoy that is in the country side surround by mountains

don't you wish we could have all of it here wouldn't it be nice. I think if we have it here all of us would choose to retire earlier.

the environment is becoming more polluted we should play our own roles to help it become a better place to save it from the end of the world